Integral Accessment

The Universal Loving Kindness exercise:

May all individuals gain freedom from suffering.
May all individuals find sustained health, happiness, and wholesness.
May I assist all individuals in gaining freedom from suffering.
May I assist all individuals in finding health, happiness, and wholeness.

This is my intention and has been and will continue to be.  I think being a parent allows us to practice and learn this lesson daily.  My integral assessment began at a point that I have been trying to come to terms with for the last year.  I decided to start here because this area is a daily occurance and a daily reminder of how I exclude myself.  This habit has kept me in denial of what is bothering me, and my greatest friend when it comes to procrastination.  Sometimes it includes me in social situations and at other times it will deny me the company of others.  It has been a way to keep me distant from family and friends.  This habit has kept me from truly being a part of anothers suffering.  Sometimes when it is hard to detach from the suffering of others I can exclude myself .  I am denied my health, my self esteem, my confidence.  I am a strong confident courages women except for taking on this one habit.  My health is very good, my outlook on life is very good and no one knows the depth of my despair on having and keeping this habit.  This habit is smoking.  Many times I will smoke and don't even enjoy it.  It is what has been my excuse, my refuge, my friend and enemy.  I am aware of the source of my suffering and know that if I can climb this mountain (make this mountain a mole hill) I can futher flourish and develop my inner life to help others in their struggle to release their suffering and help them on their journey to wholeness.  My daily intentions begin with being mindful of when and why I smoke.  I intend to continue with yoga and meditation.  I believe the shift will come and it will be easier than I am making it out to be.  I intend to change my perception of what quitting will be like and look at what being a non smoker will be like.

powerpoint

When you click on the link for my powerpoint it may not load all the way.  Right click and then click on reload.  That usually does the trick.  Enjoy

powerpoint project

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=0B9ovJlOTa2BrODIyNGE3ZDktZDJiNy00MmY2LTkzNTktZmVlYzVkOTI2MmEz&hl=en


This has taken hours to figure out how to get this on this blog.  Hope you enjoy.  I am sooooo relived to finally get this.

unit 5 presentation

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=0B9ovJlOTa2BrODIyNGE3ZDktZDJiNy00MmY2LTkzN

the suble mind

The suble mind exercise was a practice that allowed me to see the vastness of my inner life.  Doing the loving kindness exercise I began to see how vast the heart and ability to love really is.  The suble mind exercise had the same feeling.  With loving kindness there was intention to do.  With the suble mind their was intention to just be.  When we open our hearts and minds to see more than our mental thoughts we open ourselves to a greater purpose and our fears and frustrations are seen as limited, not forever.  Spiritual wellness will release a harmonious balance that can heal us from the cellular level to our emotional and mental capabilities.  We become grounded.  When our lives become chaotic we can balance ourselves, see the chaos without being attatched and grabbing on to the drama.  I sure could have used this when I was raising my children, 1 boy and 5 girls.  The drama that filled our lives. 

loving kindness

Today's loving kindness exercise was deeper and less tears were shed.  I still don't feel like "I've got it" but while I just enjoy the feelings of love and kindness my hope is that my inner work will show in my outer world.  Today I am not devastated that I did very poorly on my midterm for my other class.  I studied, I wrote notes, I did all that I could.  I am quite shocked that my frame of mind is at peace and there isn't an inner dialog of negativity.  Life goes on and I wish all of you inner peace.  May love and kindness touch you today.

loving kindness

This weeks loving kindness CD was an experience that not only released many of my feelings of homesickness but also released my feelings of pain and rejection from others and a release of worry for the suffering of those close to me.  I am better able to be of help to those in need when I am not so overwelmed with my own worry and suffering of what they are going through.  I can think clearer. 
This is an expantion of many years of work and searching.  My sister has a masters in counseling.  She has counseled many people around the world.  My sister has been teaching counsciousness for over 50 years.  I was taught as a child that when you are sick you must look at what has been going on in your life.  My father was taught this from his father.  Life can interrupt the most devout was continueing the path of spirituality.  Making a living, children and family can challenge.  It is easy for us to forget the inner life when the demands outside of ourselves are great.  I am 53 and know that as we get older our outside demands are less and we can explore and dig deeper within ourselves.
Intentions and follow through with actions are necessary components to implement mental workouts.  It is a foreign concept to many of us in the western culture.  When we reach the point in our lives that our intentions and actions are the same, and as we continue to see the truth in this journey, our mental workouts will be as much a part of our lives as breathing.

relaxation

The relaxation tape this week dealt with imagery, colors, and chakras.  To feel love, grounded, and centered is what we are all striving for.  Many of our stresses are caused by feelings of lack, out of our control, and our fear or insecurities.  We forget that we have a choice.  Feelings are just our perceptions of the moment that are created by our experiences.  When we feel a lack of love do we ask ourselves how loving are we toward others?  When life is chaotic and we are being tossed this way and that are we going with the flow or are we fighting it?  We as humans need to feel secure in our lives and surroundings.  The truth is nothing of this world lasts forever.  Enjoy the security and the love we have today.  We have many precious moments that are often times overlooked.  This technique made me think that I will look for and live fully at least one precious moment each day.

Where to you rate

How do I rate my well being physically, spiritually, and psychologically?  I am in pretty good health.  This means I do not take prescription drugs prescribed by a physician and I don't remember having a cold or the flu in the last few years.  I have my aches and pains and take melatonin at night to sleep.  I rarely get headaches.  Much of this is due to changing my diet.  I rarely eat meat.  I have moved to Texas and everyone I know are carnivours.  Last night I tried fried aligator and fried pickles. At least I can say I tried them.  Tonight I will enjoy steamed carrots with butter and parmesian cheese.My spiritual well being is a work in progress.  I say that because I am always seeking and learning more.  The layers of spirituality are like an onion, deeper truths are under each layer that is peeled back, thought about, and brought into action until it is not just knowledge but a knowing that I can live by.  My psychological well being is better today than when I was in my 20's, 30's, or even my 40's.  That is the advantage of growing older.  We really do get better.  To continue to achieve my goals for wellness I am getting back into my yoga and meditation.  I have found that the more organized you are and the less you have the calmer your mind and your reactions.  I have not done the relaxation exercise yet so I will blog again.

If it's not the holidays it's something else

Holidays, homework and a computer virus.  Stress is at an all time high today.  Change that, stress was high and then, because of all that I have learned, stress is just a reaction to my fear of not being in control.  Took my computer in to the "geeks".  $200 to start and the price went up from there.  Downloaded a pc cleaner and then restored my computer to a previous date.  If I had not released my stress I could not have thought clearly enough to clean up my mess.  As your mind is anxious so will your life be.  Still procastinating about homework but will get to that today.  Stress, I think if we called it "detrimental to your life and your health" we would see it more clearly and react differently.

Thanksgiving

It's the holidays.  I am tired.  I am happy.  Two daughters are downstairs making pumpkin rolls, used to be my job.  My son-in-law is making the turkey and stuffing.  Grown children can make life so much more enjoyable.  I do miss my 3 children that live in Washington and my 3 grandchildren.  This is my first holiday in Texas.  This year was the first time I travelled by car, by myself 2500 miles.  This is the first year I went to the Hawaiin Islands.  This is the first year that I gave away all my treasures and each item I gave more freedom was given to me.  With each item that I gave more of myself became whole.  Stuff sure has a way of holding a person back and may hold them down in more ways than we know.  I can miss family and be full of joy.  I can be hesitant of the unknown and still move towards it.  My life will continue in a way that is new, exciting, scary, and I'm going to make it the best that I can.

I have missed the first 2 weeks of class but am almost caught up.  I am 53, recently divorced, and have recently moved over 2000 miles away.  Last week I drove by myself 2500 miles.  What a journey.  I went from Washington state to Hollywood Calif to visit my daughter.  I then journeyed through Flagstaff Arizonia to Albequerque New Mexico and on to Dallas Texas.  I cried tears of homesickness, tears of joy for the beauty that I encountered.  I laughed, met some great people and reflected on my past and my future.  This week in class we listened to a relaxation exercise.  I soo needed that.  My path, though windy and long, is also promising and full of hope.  I look forward to using this blog and reading the blogs of my classmates.  This is my first attempt and I just may keep this going.

health and wellness

This is my first blog.  I am on a journey.  This journey started in Centralia Washington 4 days ago.  I am today in Albuquerque New Mexico.  I have reached my highest joy's on this journey and wept tears for those I have left behind.  I am on a quest to bring balance spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally.  I am closer today than yesterday and my journey continues.